Dear Mark, Are the dice placed on the crap game ever inspected for imperfections so the same number won't repeat itself? Steve B.

Because I can predict with 100% certainty that every casino has at least one lazy pit boss-I was one-you can be assured that the dice placed on the game are near perfect. The perks for this idle behavior? Going up to the boss's office and inspecting dice. This meant feet on the head honcho's desk, Oprah on the tube and talking on the phone long distance to friends and family because I knew the secret dial code. Oh, and inspecting dice with a micrometer to make sure our dice were produced to a tolerance level of .0005 of an inch. But we were the second line of defense. Dice makers who cut this poly-sorbate plastic in lots of five or six deal in tolerances of .0002, with imperfections discarded, making the random nature of a dice throw a certainty. By the way, Steve, no not you, Steve, my former boss Steve. You never asked, but those long distance calls to Michigan were probably mine.

Dear Mark, Over the past 20 years I have found great pleasure in making my monthly trip to Atlantic City. My bankroll is limited to $200 and I generally stick with most of the low house percentage bets that you recommend in your column. Sometimes I break even, win every third or fourth time, or lose it all. My question is, will I ever become a "consistent winner" before I join the Angels in a crap game? I'm looking for divine intervention. Sandy G.

There is no real easy way to break this to you so I'll get right to the point: NO! Though every dog has his day, don't expect a good week. It's not because you're making the wrong bets, nor playing smart, not even because you're not a decent, hard-working person worth more than an occasional bone tossed your way by the casino. You lack the essential component necessary to whip the casino, and no celestial spirit can help. And that, my friend, is a big-time bankroll. Why? Because the casino has a whole lot more cash and staying power than you do. In the industry we call it "gambler's ruin." In essence, it's how long will it take you-with your limited bankroll-to lose everything to a casino, which has a relatively infinite vault of money. You come to the casino armed with X amount of dollars, and the casino has the treasures of Rome. It is the ultimate secret weapon the casino possesses. So even if you do have a short-term winning streak, when the house has this infinite stake, they can, and will, outlast you. Test this truism out yourself. Sit at your kitchen table and play an even-up game like War with an opponent. You start off with $50 worth of monopoly money, and your adversary-we'll call him Joe Casino-begins play with $50,000. Now start playing at $5 a hand and you will immediately note some normal fluctuations inherent to gambling- like you winning six or seven hands in a row. But without fail, a losing streak will appear and your bankroll will start to deteriorate. You'll quickly notice that your modest bankroll cannot weather the bad streaks that eventually come your way. The casino can, and will, grind away at your wad of cash because their bankroll is enormous in comparison to your bets. Before long you're out of cash. A casino fatality Armageddon style. So the lesson here is that not even an archangel will help you become a "consistent winner." Only a Catholic Church size bankroll can.

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Dear Mark, I was on a crap game for the first time and asked the dealer what the difference was between a hard 8 and a regular 8. She politely told me the difference when another player started yelling at me because I was holding up the game. Talk about being embarrassed. What did I do wrong? Meg B.

Nothing! There is never a need to be embarrassed, Meg. You are to be applauded for asking for help. All too many players try to cover up their shortcomings and waste their hard-earned money playing casino games they know little about. So no question regarding gambling is "dumb." Well, that's not quite true. I was dealing blackjack late one evening in downtown Reno when a man approached me and asked: "Where are the slot machines for kids?" That was dumb. No, pathetic.

Dear Mark, When I hear cheering coming from a crap game, does that mean it's a hot game ready for me to dive right in? Bruce T.

Not necessarily, Bruce. The dice might have been sizzling before you come aboard, but that doesn't mean they will stay heated because you're now there. The reason is that your dice timeline-the period you're on the game-is different from the earlier players. Understand, Bruce, when you join a game in progress, you initiate your own personal sequence of rolls, with the dice possibly going cold from that moment on.

Dear Mark, If, like you say, the house has only a 1.4% advantage on a pass line bet, how can the casino make any money by offering that wager? Jordan P.

It doesn't matter who wins this one bet but who ends up with all the money. The casino realizes few players are sophisticated enough to restrict their craps betting to just smart wagers. But let's look at the bet in question, Jordan: a pass line wager. If you were to play 100 bets on the pass line, you can expect to win about 49 times and lose the other 51. The casino will gladly take this itty-bitty 49/51 ratio and multiply it by thousands of decisions daily, weekly and yearly, and guarantee themselves a generous long-term profit.

Dear Mark, My goal when I play craps is to win $1,000 with a $100 buy-in. Do you feel this is impractical? Skip R.

Bellying up to a crap table with $100 and expecting to win $1,000 is, at best, unrealistic. Personally, I believe it's downright wacky. Odds-on you will lose your C-note long before you win a grand. Skip, you need to set reasonable win goals, like 50% of your original stake, not 1000% on your money. Far too many players keep upping the ante on what they want to win. This columnist recommends having predetermined loss limits and "realistic" win goals. It takes internal fortitude to take a small win and run. I'm not asking you to quit while you are on an eventful winning streak, but true winners know how to quit when they are ahead. They don't risk it all to achieve too lofty a reward.